This post has been written by Navya Ch and published on my website as per her desire. This is her offering to you, to give a glimpse of her struggles and how she is emerging through applying NLP.
As her coach and trainer, I am proud how open and curious she was and is to apply the approach. She experienced shifts through her own efforts. I thank her for sharing a bit of her journey with me.- Bhavana
Those were the times
Those were the times of utter despair, confusion and trouble. Was it clinical depression? Definitely not. It was not a kind of a physical ailment that can be treated with medication or a doctor consultation. I just had a clutter of thoughts and emotions. I couldn’t manage my own thinking and the overload of thoughts that bombarded me on a daily basis. It did not feel right. When I told to others, it looked normal. “It’s just stress! Take an off from work, get some good salon treatment or do online shopping!” were some of the advices given by people and friends around me when I confessed what I was feeling.
I had a good career (though it was non-conformist and a little of a rebellious ride). I was having good tasks in hand and was pursuing what I wanted. I had the ability to answer people around me when my ways of life were questioned. I knew my career path was correct and there were no regrets. The same applied to even my personal life. I was going well with absolutely zero procrastination about the people who left me, in times of need. It was their loss you see!
But then, what was this emptiness and feeling of confusion that was chasing me around? I was always in a state of confusion about my own self. In short, I was not comfortable in my skin. I didn’t know what were my pros and cons in life. My biggest source of knowing it was from loved ones who had their own opinion about myself. After all, their opinion is a reflection of what I project myself to them. But was I projecting my REAL SELF? Do I even know my real self?
I approached spiritual disciplines by reading books on meditation, soul and how to look inwards. From Shri M to Eckhart Tolle, I was familiar with different schools of thought. The more I read these, the more confusion crept in my mind. “Silence the mind! Look inwards!”, is good. But how to look inwards without knowing what exactly is happening? Hence, whenever I meditated, I was gripped by more impatience and discomfort because – something was missing.
Very soon I understood that self-awareness was missing in my life. I am sure most of the people of my age are lost in the same sea of technology, notifications, and unnecessary information about life. Some even live a complete life in this state of non-awareness and the feeling of “Everything is fine!”, when it is not. In the name of positive attitude, and thanks to inspirational TED talks, I was also caught up in this “I am alright, I don’t need to exclusively attend to my emotions!” cycle of life.
Physiological Impact
This discomfort had repercussions at the physiological level and my health was also getting affected badly. I was having constant digestion problems, but when checked clinically- it just looked like a normal indigestion because of food from the outer surface. The discomfort slowly led to weight gain, sleep problems, and overall wellbeing. I was not feeling interested to get ready or groom myself because of the thought- “Why to even get ready!? Who will even look at me! I am not good looking anyway!”. Mindless eating, browsing of internet, reading whatever comes in my vicinity became the norm. For the outsiders, I looked like a successful writer, with good pitches in hand and a competent singer with good talent. But inwards, I was not even feeling 1% of these things.
Perhaps this is the problem in our society when it comes to mental wellbeing. There are no gray shades to this. Either you are completely alright with no mental problems whatsoever, or you are branded as a psychological patient with serious issues. There is no addressing for people who are in borderline depression or going to the verge of it. It is also funny how the way we use the term depression like a casual thing as well. I remember when I went to teach one of my young students to train her in western classical music, she casually said she is suffering from depression. I was shocked to hear a 13-year-old girl using that term so frivolously. But when asked more questions, what I understood was- her problem was insomnia during the nights- that is nowhere related to actual depression!
I was also experiencing the same those days. However, I never branded myself to be a depressed person. But the constant feeling of “something is wrong with me” slowly went to the level of “everything is wrong with me!”. I was totally lost in the whirlpool of thoughts containing self-hate, self- disrespect and absolutely zero self-love.
Neuro Linguistic Programming & The Lightweaver
It was then the savior in the name of NLP came into my life through my writing coach Bhavana Nissima aka the Lightweaver. Like my readiness in everything else, I also wanted to give this a try. Little I knew that it would be so life changing in many aspects for me. Right from the self- talk which we do on a daily basis that manifests to reality, to the drama triangle that depicts our attitude in easy terms, to improving self-image, NLP has helped me out tremendously in every walk of life.
I was able to understand my problem areas so well and concisely that it didn’t take my effort like the usual analytical manner. One of the best things about Bhavana is, she doesn’t order you to think in a way. She just lays a path and makes the client think about the pros and cons of the path before they choose to take it. In this way, she makes us responsible for our own emotions and not be overly dependent on her for every small challenge that comes in life. Isn’t it all what we need in this life? To be emotionally independent and give the right support to the loved ones?
Before starting NLP sessions, my self-image was at an all time low. I was overly criticizing myself for everything and most importantly, I was constantly rejecting my physical appearance for nearly 31 years. But when Bhavana mentioned about how our core values shape up our life, I realized that an idealistic core value also can become detrimental and become a stumbling block in getting better. My core belief those days was, “Physical attributes are nothing compared to intellect and brains! It doesn’t matter if you dress however you want, your talk and aura should bring the right result!”. This was the outcome of my childhood verbal opinions which were imposed on me to get dressed well, so that I would be noticed. On the day of NLP session when I addressed this, it was a revelation! Without any extra effort or struggle, I could seamlessly get into the new habit and expanding my horizons by embracing the physical dimension of me.
The NLP Journey Continues
NLP to me not just brought to my positives, but also to the focus areas to improve. I was doing literally every task in a rapid speed , again due to childhood opinions that later became a core value. I used to do every task very quickly because I was getting noticed for the pace at home and appreciated. NLP showed me the fact that every task has its own rhythm and a damaging core belief shouldn’t impact it so badly. I also realized that I was too opinionated and not that flexible as I project myself to be 😊
I wouldn’t’ say that I have dramatically transformed after NLP within a day, but the change was evident. There was a shift in my consciousness and I started making steps towards betterment. I became healthier inside out, happier and more emotionally well-informed during conversations. It has greatly helped me in fetching new work, network with interesting people and learn more by listening and “vibing” with the person rather than just listening for an obligatory sake.
The very principle that “NO intention is bad intention in this world” has opened me new doors and also made me empathetic towards others- even to the people who harmed me by being more forgiving- and therefore, less strain and stress.
NLP+MSP EVOLVE PROGRAM
While NLP sessions itself was so great, the NLP+MSP evolve program that I did with Bhavana this summer was another milestone. It can be termed as one of the best investments I’ve made for myself in life. Every aspect discussed in the course were highly informative and of great help.
Most importantly, I realized more than ever through NLP that, life is not a slip away, or a heavy mind game- the core emotions which we go through and explain in complex language patterns are indeed simpler than we think.
I thank Bhavana Nissima for not just being a writing coach, or an NLP instructor but also a big sister to me in becoming an overall good person in life. And I am still thriving to improve and reach newer heights 😊 😊